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The 9 Penises You'll Meet In Your Twenties, From The Napoleon to The Undecided Voter

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We'll have to get you a commemorative plaque.

  • The world's not such a terrible place after all, is it? How It Will Enrich Your Life: Like the Loch Ness Monster, the Vaginal Orgasm-Giver is probably a beautiful myth.

  • The Vaginal Orgasm-Giver Defining Characteristics: The ability to give consistent vaginal orgasms to everyone who comes near it.

Oh my god, did that mole just move?! But, also like the Loch Ness Monster, some of us still hold out a shred of hope.

  • How It Will Enrich Your Life: For one brief moment, when you first touch your partner's David, you will be convinced that everything that has ever happened to you in life was all a part of God's plan, which was to bring this amazing penis into your life.

  • How It Will Enrich Your Life: If the Undecided Voter in your life is attached to someone you really care about, time spent with this lil' flip-flopper can help you remember that sex isn't a super serious life-or-death situation during which everything has to go perfectly.




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